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Very little is currently
known about the kinds of experiences which
individuals have who are compulsively injecting
large doses of methamphetamine or "speed". This is
partially due to the fact that the "speed freak" as
we know him today is a relative newcomer to the drug
scene. Perhaps most important, however, is the
frantic and violent life style which make
on-the-street observation both difficult and
dangerous. The researcher or observer, regardless of
his intentions, is suspect and not likely to be
drawn into the life of a group using speed.
The Amphetamine Research Project is in a unique
position in San Francisco's Haight-Ashbury
community, however. Since its inception, in June of
1968, the project has served dual roles of treatment
and research. The staff has been of assistance in
matters of obtaining housing, food, and legal
services and obtaining help, but did not require
that the patient subject himself to the questions of
the researcher. In short, the staff was represented
to the community as both helpful and interested in
the problems of "speed" abuse.
This paper is concerned with the kinds of
experiences with which individuals enmeshed in the
speed scene have to deal, how they interpret these
experiences, and how this shapes the direction they
may take within the speed scene. It is by no means a
complete picture. The research is currently in
progress, and there are many gaping holes in our
information. The data to be presented represents
both formal taped interviews with speed users as
well as observations made during informal contacts
both in the research offices and on the street. Much
of what will be said is frankly speculation, based
on some of the hunches we have about the typical
career of the "speed freak."
No attempt is made to analyze the many social or
psychological variables which pre-date involvement
in the speed scene, since these factors appear to be
less important in determining what happens to an
individual who involves himself in speed use than
such factors as drug availability, subjective
interpretations of the drug experience, the quality
of social interactions, the sanctions which the
community imposes on certain types of behavior, and
the crucial problems which the speed freak is forced
to confront as a result of his particular pattern of
drug use.
Turning on to speed is almost always accomplished
within a group setting, where the majority of
individuals present are using speed. There are great
pressures to use for the newcomer. He may be
completely overwhelmed by the compulsive talking,
the frantic activity, and the apparent euphoria and
friendliness of the drug using members of the group.
It is also true that the individual in such a group
who is not "high" is unable to communicate with
others in the group, for talk and the activity seem
to have little meaning or relevance for him.
Since most of the young people we have seen come
from middle class backgrounds, the notion of
sticking a needle in their arm may initially be
repugnant to them. For many, the presence of outfits
and spoons is reminiscent of the "horror movies"
they remember from high school hygiene classes,
where such activities were associated exclusively
with heroin addicts. Rarely can an individual fix
himself the first time, and for many users, fixing
is an impossibility and must be handled by a friend.
Initially there is the fear that some permanent harm
may result from missing a vein, others are fearful
of the possibility of overdosing or contracting
hepatitis from the needle.
Although most of the individuals with whom we talked
had used other drugs in the past, primarily
marijuana, the psychedelics and occasionally oral
amphetamines or barbiturates, few could conceive of
using a needle. How then were they turned on? A
Berkeley student's experiences seem fairly typical:
“I'd always heard about people shooting drugs, but
I'd always looked down on it pretty thoroughly, but
when it was actually presented to me it took less
than an hour to talk me into it. Mainly because I
was at the level where I would have tried anything.”
Another young speed user recalls his first
experience this way:
“If you're around someone that would do it and like
you see them doing it around you, pretty soon you'll
do it yourself. I'm pretty sure it doesn't take a
particular kind of person, it doesn't take an
irresponsible person.”
The majority of users seem to have been turned on
either by close friends who recommended it, or were
turned on by a group with whom they were staying.
This has particular significance in the
Haight-Ashbury district, which, despite the
reputation it has acquired locally for violence and
misery, still attracts large numbers of youngsters
from outside the Bay Area. It is quite conceivable
that these same youngsters, had they appeared on the
scene during the 1967 Summer of Love, would have
found a "crash pad" with those who used marijuana
socially and the psychedelics for religious or
philosophical reasons, and who were unalterably
opposed to the use of speed, which is generally
regarded by this group as an "ego trip." It is quite
clear that the peer sanctions against the use of
speed and other injectable drugs have broken down
with the mass exodus of the "Flower Children," and
that speed is now the drug of choice in this
youthful subculture.
For some, the first experience with speed is quite
frightening. We have seen numerous young people in
the Amphetamine Research Project who were acutely
anxious following their first experience with speed.
It is probable that the acute anxiety reaction is
the most common clinical pattern presented at the
Haight-Ashbury Medical Clinic or other medical
facilities for this reason. For many the rapid
heartbeat, excessive sweating, compulsive talking or
physical agitation are unbearable, and some fear
that they will never be able to return to a normal
state. For others, the adverse effects are perceived
during the comedown, with the feeling of extreme
physical fatigue and mental depression, a feeling
which can be immediately alleviated by repeating the
process.
Those who have adverse reactions to speed following
the initial experiences are in a decided minority.
For most it is a gratifying physical experience. As
one Berkeley user put it:
“I was pretty stoned on grass at the time, and all
of a sudden I just felt elated, you get a feeling of
elation, at least I do. I feel wonderful, like my
whole body is just doing a physiological flip-flop.”
Part of the sought after effect is the "rush" or
"flash" which the user experiences immediately after
fixing, a feeling which may last from five to
fifteen minutes. Although many young speed freaks
make no distinction between the rush and the flash,
there are those connoisseurs of speed who do. The
speed manufactured by street chemists or cooks
generally contains ether, used to dry the liquid
methamphetamine. It is the ether or any additive,
which make for the flash, often described as a total
body orgasm. Street speed is also cut with a variety
of substances, the most common being "Accent" a meat
flavorizer which contains monosodium glutamate.
Almost any substance which resembles the white
crystal is used to cut street speed, although
sometimes a "burn artist” or one who sells a
substance like Accent for speed, may be more
vicious. A 24 year-old dealer, specializing in
"rush" speed describes an incident of this sort:
“I had an old lady last year that did about a dime
(ten dollar bag) hit cut with rat poison. She
turned purple and started gasping for breath and
fell on the floor and damn near croaked.”
Fearing the "burn artist," many speeders will use
only amphetamines which they think are commercially
manufactured. A young dealer who is typical of this
group will use only Desoxyn tablets, boiled down and
injected, or what he labels "white floaty," which he
claims is part of a shipment of mehtamphetamine
phosphate stolen from an interstate shipment.
Contemptuous of street speed, which he labels
garbage, and fit only for "flash freaks," he prefers
the less violent "rush," which he describes as a
more "mellow" feeling, without the gagging in the
throat which accompanies the injection of street
speed that contains ether.
Although the physical pleasure of the rush or flash
is sometimes mentioned as the reason for the
continued use of speed, most users are attracted to
the feeling which they experience within a group
setting. Most are able to relate to others in a very
open and confident fashion. This experience is
described by a 21 year-old female user as follows:
“When your friends get off you feel so good, you get
so close and the vibrations are just wider on speed,
everybody's feeling so groovy. Like my girl friend
got off. She was kind of uptight, and Joe got her
off and she sat there and didn't move and she said
‘Wow, I just don't believe it, this is too much.’ We
just sat and drew all night, like she drew pictures
of me and I drew pictures of her and back and forth.
And we rapped just furiously to our innermost soul,
but it was really fun.”
For some, the initial speed experience seems to
enable them to talk out all of their problems to
others, even though no one else may be interested or
even listening. Whether people are listening or not
seems to make little difference. One user describes
it this way:
“Like, when you're talking constantly, you always
think people will be glad to listen and you're sure
that you know everything. If you listen, its out of
a sort of deference, its because you're brilliant,
but you're humble too.”
The first few speed experiences tend to produce an
optimism and sense of well-being that can lead to
actions which may later be regretted. One user
described a letter which he had written to his
family in the East while stimulated, in which he
gushed about his love for them, how he had found
religion, and how well he was doing. Others may
decide that a casual acquaintance is the finest
person he has ever met or profess undying love for a
member of the opposite sex.
As the effect of the amphetamine wears off, the user
will begin to feel depressed and physically
fatigued. He may either counteract this by again
shooting up, or by crashing. In some cases, crashing
occurs after a prolonged run, regardless of how
stimulated the individual is. In most cases,
however, the come-down is hastened by the use of
depressants or "downers," commonly barbiturates or
heroin.
Novices who happen to be turned on by users who are
protective of them are generally instructed as to
proper methods of self protection. A 24 year old
male, deeply involved in the speed scene offered the
following pointers for staying alive and sane when
using speed:
1. Use clean hypodermic paraphernalia, and do not
circulate your outfit (syringe, or eyedropper and
needle) among anyone. Procure it new if possible and
keep it clean, if not sterile. One good system is
using permanent stainless steel needles, and a glass
syringe and sterilizing them in a pressure cooker
after each day of use.
2. Take plenty of vitamins, nutritional supplements
and drink plenty of liquids. Vitamin C, ascorbic
acid is a must, as are multivitamins and as much
good food as possible. I recommend taking desiccated
liver, so as to strengthen the vital organ, and
protect it from becoming weakened and receptive to
hepatitis.
3. The last thing of great importance is that one
should never, no matter what the reason, stay awake
for longer than 72 hours, as any longer than three
days awake causes irreversible brain damage. If
necessary in order to avoid this, a person is better
off taking barbiturates or tranquilizers.
Although it is possible to be a weekender with
speed, the chances are good that a young person
living in an area such as the Haight-Ashbury will
tend to repeat the speed experience if he finds it a
pleasurable one, and, as a consequence, more and
more of his life will center around obtaining and
using drugs. If the newly initiated speed user fails
to heed the above advice, he may quickly experience
his first adverse reaction to the drug. With some it
comes about with the appearance of "crank bugs,"
imaginary bugs under the skin. It is common to see
speed freaks with open running sores or scabs on
their faces or arms as a result of picking or
cutting out these hallucinated crank bugs. An
experienced 24 year old speed freak described crank
bugs as follows:
“Its just that when you're shooting speed constantly
you start to feel like there's bugs going around
under your skin and you know they're not there, but
you pick at them anyway. You go through all these
changes scratching. Once in a while you'll see a
little black spot and you'll watch it for 10 minutes
to see if it moves. If it doesn't move it isn't
alive. You can feel them on your skin. I'm always
trying to pick them out of my eyebrows.”
Extended runs on speed, sometimes as long as two or
three weeks inevitably lead to feelings of paranoia
or even a full blown psychotic reaction. A common
feeling, one which is usually reinforced by others
within the individual's social group, is that the
police are about to make a massive sweep into the
house or apartment for the purpose of confiscation
of whatever speed one has and arresting the user.
One begins to see himself as the focus of attention,
and every comment or every occurrence, no matter how
far removed it may be from the user, somehow takes
on new importance for him. Thus,' every police car
he sees becomes the lead car in a task force
dedicated to tracking him down, while strangers or
even friends who make comments that are seemingly
innocent become plotters against him, or undercover
narcotic agents. This reaction has been observed in
love relationships where one partner is suddenly
seen as a conspirator against the other. We have
observed groups of as many as 10 individuals where
each felt that others in the group were plotting
against him. In some instances, one person within
the group will be singled out for no apparent
reason, and the wrath of the entire group vented on
him.
The paranoid speed freak is highly prone to violent
behavior, but more than this, he begins to expose
himself to arrest because of highly erratic and
irrational behavior. Threats of mayhem and murder
are common within speed groups, and many begin to
collect guns and knives to make the threats more
convincing. Although there is the possibility that
direct assaults may take place within such a group,
the impression we have is that more often direct
assaults come about as a result of the individual's
relationship to the speed marketplace.
As the user becomes more deeply involved in the
world of speed, he must necessarily make certain
commitments to that life, and must reject or is
rejected by other members of the conventional
community and even members of the "grass and acid"
culture. As mentioned previously, a meaningful
relationship between a user and a non-user is
virtually impossible, both because of the speed
freak's suspicions that anyone who is not using may
be an undercover agent, and because few non-users
are willing to put up with the constant talking and
fever pitch of activity, and the generally
irresponsible behavior that the freak exhibits. In
some instances, the threatened disruption of a
meaningful love relationship at this point will
cause the speed freak to break away from this
pattern of drug use. In other cases, former friends
or relatives will force the individual into a
treatment situation either by persuading him to
voluntarily present himself for help, or by
obtaining court authority for commitment as one who
is potentially a danger to himself or others.
One cannot expect to be treated to speed by friends
for long, thus he must begin to score for himself.
Dealing speed on the street is a relatively easy way
to obtain the drug, with Iittle outlay of money. The
most common pattern is to begin dealing in small
quantities, generally nickel or dime buys (five or
ten dollar bags). This is the lowest level of
dealing and is generally engaged in by people who
are heavy users. It aIso is the most dangerous form
of dealing, both in terms of the possibility of
arrest and the more certain possibility that he will
be "ripped off" or robbed of either his money or his
speed by others within the scene. There is very
little profits by further cutting the speed to be
sold, or by "burning" the customer, by selling any
substance which resembles speed. This is perhaps the
most dangerous form of activity the street dealer
can involve himself in, for it is common for those
who have been burned to seek revenge, either by
"snitching", or shooting or beating him. In some
instances the "burn artist" will be injected with
his own product in large doses, particularly if his
customers have suffered adverse effects from his
"burn speed."
The novice dealer is perhaps the most vulnerable
individual in the speed scene. Learning to protect
oneself on the street is an art which takes time to
learn. For instance, an experienced dealer will
never have the speed on him when he makes the
initial contact, if he is dealing in quantities of a
quarter ounce or under on the street. The exchange
of speed for money should take place in a setting
where the dealer will have some assurance that the
customer intends to pay him for the drug. The more
successful dealers seem to be those who have a
reputation for fairness; where the customer is
reasonably assured that the drug is what the dealer
says it is, and that if the dealer himself has been
burned by his connection, he will replace the bad
speed. If the dealer is compulsively using the drug,
it is important that he have numerous contacts and
be able to get rid of the speed quickly. Not being
able to "turn over" speed quickly has proven
disastrous to many dealers as in this example:
“When you are dealing speed and doing it both at the
same time it gets fantastically involved. You're
sitting with ounces all around you, and you are
saying ...hey, wow...I can do a whole spoon. That's
what's happening to my connection right now. He
bought up two ounces the other night and did one and
a quarter before we· got any of it sold. You've got
to learn to maintain with it a little.”
To the speed freak who has learned to "maintain," it
would be unthinkable to buy speed from a "nickel or
dime" dealer on the street. He prefers to deal with
a known and trusted connection who deals in
quantities from one eighth ounce to pounds. In such
a situation, the customer is allowed to "taste"
prior to making a purchase, which allows him to
determine the quality before buying.
The lowest status in the speed world is assigned to
the individual who has not learned to "maintain." He
is the speed freak that "snivels over used cottons,"
that is, pleads with other users for the use of
cottons which have been used to strain out
impurities when drawing speed from the spoon.
He also is unable to "get his bread together," or
save enough to make a purchase larger than five or
ten dollars.
Such an individual would never be "fronted" speed,
or given speed on consignment, since the connection
knows from experience that he is not likely to get
his money back. Although "fronting" speed is
uncommon, it is still done occasionally if the user
is not seen as "strung out" and if he appears to be
responsible and rational. Occasionally a usually
reliable user will begin to get "strung out" and the
connection will balk at "fronting" to him. In
response to the question "What would happen if the
guy who is fronting you speed noticed that you were
getting freaky and paranoid?" a 21 year old
dealer-user replied:
“He would cut me off, just like he did my partner.
He would say, I'm sorry man, friendship is
friendship, business is business. We can still be
friends and do hits together and get loaded, but I
can't front you no more because you're not coming
back with my money.”
Another source of money from drugs is hustling,
although there are few hustlers in the speed world
to compare with those in the heroin world. Perhaps
the most common hustle by heroin addicts is
burglary, which requires a great deal of skill to
avoid arrest, and a knowledge of the kind of items
which are most easily sold to a fence. This kind of
an operation is run by professional fences who do
not regard the speed freak as a reliable burglar,
since his demeanor and irrational behavior may well
call attention to himself and others involved in the
operation. Usually the goods obtained by the freak
in a burglary are simply traded for speed or money
on an informal basis.
Another major source of speed and/or income in this
scene is the "rip off," or theft directly from a
dealer who has large quantities of speed or money on
his person. Because this is a common practice, the
more experienced dealers and users usually cover
themselves, either by having a friend come along for
protection, or by carrying a weapon. Many cases have
been reported where, following a highly confidential
sale of speed, the dealer will leave an apartment or
house and immediately be held up for his money by
someone who has been tipped off by the group that
made the purchase.
Our hypothesis is that it is this kind of activity
related to the marketplace, coupled with the
paranoia induced by long runs on speed which
accounts for the excessive amount of violence which
prevails in a speed using community. In some cases,
a speed user who has been arrested will try to talk
his way out of this situation by agreeing to give
the police names of users and dealers within the
community. The "snitch" or "dime dropper" as he is
referred to, is the object of immediate and forceful
retribution if his identity becomes known, or if one
is suspected of being a "snitch" or "dime dropper."
Said one user of a friend who had turned "snitch":
“A cat I knew fairly well, last time he got busted
he gave up 42 names. He's up in County right now
giving up every name he can think of. He got a lot
of people some righteous time. If he does manage to
get back out on the streets he's dead this time. If
he goes to the joint, he is definitely dead, without
any hesitation whatsoever. When people start copping
out on 'everyone on the street, pretty quick they
get turned off. Or else they get stomped out or shot
out. Its becoming a very violent scene up there.”
The snitch, dime dropper, burn artist, rip off and
others are just some of the hazards with which the
speed freak must contend if he is to survive in this
scene, for the typical speed freak soon finds that
he is unable to control the paranoia which
inevitably overtakes him. It is at this point that
he begins to use other drugs to counteract the
effects of speed. Most common among the young
persons we have talked with are barbiturates,
generally Seconal, Tuinal, and Nembutal. Few of the
speed users will wait for the effect of the drug
taken orally, and prefer to boil them down and shoot
them for the immediate effect. Interestingly enough,
most report that barbiturates also have a "heavy
flash" similar to that experienced with shooting
speed. Drug switching becomes a common practice, and
few users or dealers are without an ample supply of
both speed and "downers." Barbiturates have several
advantages over other depressants, such as heroin or
morphine, in that they are easily obtainable, cheap
and don't carry felony penalties for possession. On
the other hand, the heavy shooter of barbiturates is
seen as a menace, even to the most violent and
paranoid speed freak because of the aggressive and
surly demeanor of most "barb freaks." In addition,
barbiturates prepared for injection by the speed
freak contain numerous impurities and are sometimes
difficult to get through a needle. It is common for
even the most expert "fixer" to miss a vein while
doing barbiturates, resulting in cellulitis or
abscesses, while others force the heavy solution
through the needle with such pressure that they
"blow a vein."
In such a scene, the sanctions which most
middle-class youngsters have against the use of
heroin break down. Several bad experiences with the
barbiturates may convince the user to try heroin as
a downer. Most users report that heroin is a more
"mellow" down, that one rarely develops or "blows" a
vein, and that surly or aggressive behavior
generally doesn't follow its use.
At one time heroin was most difficult to obtain,
since the major source of supply was the East Coast.
West Coast heroin has traditionally been of low
quality and extremely expensive. Recently, however,
a low-grade Mexican heroin, almost brown in color
has appeared on the streets and is used extensively
by speed freaks to come down. Although most users
are aware of the addictive nature of heroin, they
are also aware that barbiturate addiction is a far
more serious problem to deal with on the streets. It
is our opinion that this new source of supply will
give rise to an increasing heroin problem in San
Francisco, since it is now more freely available
than ever before, according to most persons close to
the heroin market.
There are many reasons why speed use may be
terminated after a few months. There is always the
obvious possibility of arrest and incarceration for
possession or dealing drugs, or possession of an
outfit. Some youngsters become anxious about their
erratic behavior and may seek help during a period
of extreme anxiety or paranoia, if they perceive the
helpers as non-punitive and understanding. There is
a great fear among street speed freaks of
conventional or "Establishment" agencies because of
their possible relationship with the police, or the
possibility that they may be involuntarily committed
to a treatment institution. Many young speed freaks
who have become addicted to heroin, and are
therefore capable of more rational thinking, will
voluntarily seek help for their addiction.
Perhaps the most common contact with traditional
agencies comes about as a result of contracting
serum hepatitis from using an infected needle. This
is a common health hazard in the speed scene, and
interestingly enough, the reputation of the
hepatitis ward at San Francisco General Hospital is
a good one; that is, the staff is seen as "hip" and
understanding, the food and medical care good, and
the company of fellow patients enjoyable.
The long term speed freak is a phenomenon which is
difficult to understand. How can one find
satisfaction in a social scene which offers a steady
diet of violence, suspicion, disease, and possible
death? For the speed freak who is not able to
"maintain," his stay within this world is limited.
For those who remain, two major routes seem to
develop. For the speed freak who knows his limits,
has numerous contacts within the speed scene, and
who has acquired a reputation as a shrewd but fair
dealer, he may move into higher levels of the
marketplace, either as a higher level distributor of
speed and other drugs, as a supplier of raw
chemicals for the manufacture of speed, or into the
actual manufacture of the drug itself. It is on this
level that the possibility of arrest decreases, the
quality of the drug assured, and the relationship
between members of his group are more congenial and
trusted. In addition, he can make fairly large sums
of money and can afford his own apartment as well as
decent clothing and food, something of which the
street level speed freak is generally deprived.
The second route is perhaps the most difficult to
understand. It involves a total commitment to the
use and procurement of drugs, and an identity as the
"biggest freak on the street." Status for such an
individual is derived from how much speed he can
shoot, how bizarre his dress, demeanor or behavior
is, and his knowledge of drugs in general. Even the
names which they give themselves reflect this
orientation, names such as "Mad Bruce," "Dr. Zoom,"
"Crazy Tom," "Mr. Clean," "Supercrank," and "Nickidrene."
In one instance, a group of individuals banned
together, wore quasi-military uniforms, and labeled
themselves the "Methedrine Mauraders," or "Crank
Commandos."
In a community such as the Haight-Ashbury, being the
biggest freak in a community of speed freaks is not
an easy task. Pride in one's ability to shoot
massive doses is reflected in the following
statement from such a speed freak:
“I know I scared an intern half to death once. He
said that a person who took 500 miiligrams would
croak, so I shot a flat gram right in front of him,
he turned every color of the rainbow just watchinq
me. I fixed two spoons in Marin County, I'm a legend
in Marin County now. They're always talking about
the guy who shot two spoons.”
The same individual recalled a speed shooting
contest, which he frankly admitted was a
self-destructive act:
“This was a down to the death dope shooting contest.
One of the two of us was supposed to die when the
thing was all over. He'd shoot a half a gram and I'd
shoot a gram, and he'd shoot 1 and 1/2, and I'd
shoot 2 grams, then he'd shoot 2 and 1/2 and I'd
have to shoot 3. Nobody would back out, we'd die
before we'd back out.”
Much of the attraction of this style of life is in
the fantasies which the speed freak maintains. For
example, if one freak asks another if he can score
five pounds of speed within the hour, both are
extremely flattered and gratified. For the one who
makes the request, he imagines the other will see
him as a big-time dope dealer, about to make the
sale of the year, while the other is flattered that
someone thinks he is capable of getting his hands on
five pounds of speed.
The speed freak is constantly living in a fantasy
world, making plans which will elevate him out of
his misery into a position of power and great
prestige within the criminal world. Perhaps the most
articulate description of the kinds of plans which
are made nightly in the speed world is this, by a 21
year old male speed freak:
“I make lots of plans, but I don't ever carry any of
them out. I get into this megalomaniac bag about
five days into it, and I'll build these mountainous
castles in my mind, all the far out things I'm going
to do, and all the money I'm going to make. I'll be
driving a Rolls Royce and have 2 speed labs going at
once, a heroin refining plant, my own private
two-engine plane, I'll be running the Mafia, and
then when I start to come down I realize that none
of it is going to exist and its like you pulled the
bottom out of my brain. I feel empty and suicidal in
about 4 or 5 hours.”
Another describes the way in which he rationalizes
his existence in the speed world:
“I really enjoy the whole thing. When I'm out there
hustling I haven't got a thing. Part of me is up
tight, the rest of me is having a good time; talking
all this expansive shit to everybody else. I'm
building my castles about a block ahead of me, and
when I get there its gone, so I build another one.
But I do alright. I have my basic necessities of
life and things like that. I stay a step above some
of these other people who just turn into animals.”
There is no way to determine how such an individual
will react to you from day to day, as his life is a
series of clashes with others in the scene, scheming
to score or deal, trying to kick a barbiturate habit
or a heroin habit, freaking out after a long speed
run, or surprisingly calm and rational when mixing
drugs to achieve a state of apparent normalcy.
Such a career terminates in one of three ways
generally. The most common hazard is being arrested,
usually after getting extremely loose or erratic
because of the particular drug he is using at the
time. Secondly, he may be involuntarily committed by
relatives or by a court following arrest, and
finally, death, either from an overdose of heroin or
barbiturates or being murdered by others within the
scene. If the latter possibility seems overly
dramatic, one has only to look at the homicide rate
involving speed dealers and users in the
Haight-Ashbury during the last year.
Although many speed freaks will assure you that they
have little desire to change their life style, and
that they are quite happy with their lives, this
concluding quote, from a young man deeply involved
in the speed scene, reveals the hopelessness,
despair, and misery he feels:
“My life, though freaky, has assumed a sense of
quasi-normality, at least compared to some of the
righteous freaks and loose people on the street.
But, in the last two years, I have attempted suicide
three times, and have blown my mind at least two
score and ten times. I will cop out to being freaked
out, and generally loose. As to speed.....They tell
me it will kill me, but they don't say when.” |
